Now let me tell you about my first meeting with Master D, which henceforth most likely will be shortened Mr D.
As many other of my partners we found each other and bonded via the Internet. It is a good place to screen out the bad crop, and find someone that’s quite fitting for you. I’m not sure we knew if we were. We had been talking quite a few months before that, but stuff had been going on in my life (as you all also noticed here) so I hadn’t really been online enough to keep that relationship alive.
We started talking a bit more intensely, exchanged IM accounts and within 3 days we had decided to meet up for a date. At his place.

Since a few months have passed, the details have as well. I remember the excitement, and I remember that he’d told me in texts that he’d be commanding me to kiss him when he felt I had settled down. I had warned him that I might need to settle down for a a bit after arriving, since I have a tendency to become hyper when excited.

So there I was after four flight of stairs that had taken the breath out of me. Panting, and not in a good and sexy way. I took a deep breath and rang the bell for his door. I wasn’t expecting too much from the few pictures I’d seen of him. They were a bit fussy to get a clear picture. He opens and I remember my initial reaction:
- “Damn he looks even better in life, did I ring the wrong door bell?” with a hint of happiness.

He let me in, and I got to sit down next to him on the sofa while we were feeling each other out. Not physically, I might add. I think we both knew. We knew we were going to enjoy each other.

He let me wind down, and I started relaxing, while he probably knew I was getting excited about what the night would bring. He instructed me to kiss him.

His lips, and the taste of them, how intense he kissed me back was… I can’t find words for it. Even now as I write this I can just taste him and miss those lips. I really miss those lips.

More time has passed now than I dare to even think about, because I’ve been busy and I’ve moved on. That doesn’t change that this night started something that would become one of the more intensive periods of my life, and specially my bdsm life. It’s that intensity that’s stopped me from finishing writing this blog post. And I can’t finish writing the story of events tonight either. Maybe I will give it another try another day…

This was what I was waiting for with him, my Master. Things didn’t turn out as well as I was wishing, and some of you might remember how crushed I was earlier this year about this relationship falling to pieces.

Non the less, it was an experience that I do not regret having had.

We had been seeing each other for quite a while, me and Sedrick, and we were definitely falling in love.

There’s nothing as sweet as puppy love, except that non of us were puppies anymore and we weren’t into puppy play. I had never spent this much time cuddling, playing and giving oral sex to someone before without ending up actually having penetrative sex.

Somehow this was a lot different than any other time I’d had sex. Okay, okay, most of them are different from each other but since we’d been waiting so long without actually fucking each others brains out this was definitely different.

The teasing, which always is an element, begun and after cuddling, kissing and playing I felt his stiffness against my wet bottom. I wanted to feel what he felt like inside of me. After a bit of uncomfortable silence awaiting who’d ask about a condom first, both of us knowing that we had to use one, we managed to solve it. Even if I don’t remember how, or by whom of us. #14 went on, and he dove inside.

He’s my little sweetheart, and I love that I can make him cum as fast as I can and as he does. There’s nothing wrong with a sensitive boy, or man if you prefer. Especially not when it gives a girl so much more sperm to play with. In this case the sperm ended up in the condom, but on other days I get it in my mouth or over my breasts, and I’m not complaining.

So imagine my surprise when I managed to get a close to simultaneous orgasm with one of the persons I expected it the least from? This is for quite a bunch of reasons, and it’s not really anything against him. I just didn’t expect it, which probably was the reason for why I was able to relax enough for it to happen. It really amazed me!

Sedrick and I had been playing around quite a lot earlier in the evening. He had gotten me really wet and ready for more play. We were supposed to go to sleep. But as every other night we had ever spent together we sort of knew we wouldn’t, so as soon as we were in bed and wrapped in each others arms we were kissing intensely and touching each others bodies.

He was still wearing his underwear and I just slid my hand down to his crotch and slid in my hand underneath to caress his balls. I moved the underwear to the side so his balls were exposed. My hand was caressing and pressing on his perineum gently to see how he reacts. Trying to touch him different to watch his reactions. I did notice that he reacted to it, but was hesitant to ask what he liked it. Will have to do that the next time, if there’ll be one.

There was still intense kissing and he was caressing my breast as my hand kept pushing his buttons. His hand moved down toward my lower parts and I felt how much I was anticipating his hand to find it’s way inside of me. I really wanted to feel his finger play around in there, just pushing in places I wouldn’t be expecting them to.
Still remembering how his hand had been exploring and trying different things the first time he was in me.

Not sure if he’s picked it up from me, but hell he can be a tease. End up asking me; “What do you want?” when my hand is moving his hands towards my lower areas, or inside of my pants. Forcing me to whisper to him how horny I am. Maybe that’s the trick?

He finally started to touch my lower parts as I wanted. Touching my clit, fingering me. Nice slow movement in and out. I used my free hand to touch my clit while he could concentrate on fingering me. As he was still sucking on my breast and I was caressing his balls and cock.

I was relaxed, and getting enough stimulation to feel I was getting closer and closer and that my body was driving me nuts. I tried to push it out of my head, I didn’t want to ruin the moment like I’ve done before. Don’t chase it (I’ve said that before..)… As I was getting closer the hand around his cock didn’t really move, it just stayed in place and squeezed, so he notice quite well how I was reacting to what was going on.

As soon as I reached my point, feeling the quakes through my body I started to wank him off properly, still panting, breathing near his ear, so he could really hear what he’d done to me. Still in moan, still just taking the feelings in from what he’d brought me to and at the same time sharing it with him till he came as well.

Feeling how both just fell into relaxing, finishing. Still in each others arms.

*) Well. Perhaps not in heaven, but certainly in her. Not a bad thing either.

I believe that the answer is how young women are treated, and how young women expect to be treated. In other words, it’s 90% how they were brought up. What their parents taught them, and what their parents decided not to teach them.

Think of it this way; if you are told that women deserve to be treated well and that treating them well might get you inside their pants, would you ever even consider using your bad manners towards one? Would you ever figure that if you suggest that she might be a lady for hire, and therefor she would be willing to spread her legs for you?

She might be the one who have her eyes on you, waiting for you coming of age. She might have plans for you. One bad word and that plan certainly won’t include a pussy. More likely a frying pan. Some people might want both mild blunt violence from a frying pan and some lovin’ of course, but that’s beside the point.

It will be really challenging to help my future children set out on a route in life where their lovers find them demanding and giving at the same time.
How about we all help them by providing a path they can actually expect to work to their advantage at all times?

While Sedrick’s hands run over my body, on the top of my clothes. While his lips touches my neck as he kisses me. Caressing and squeezing my boobs gently as I moan from every touch. What is it? Is it just the magic of his touch, or mixed in with a lot of feelings as well… Being in love can make feelings a lot more intense.

His hand slides in under my shirt, and further up my stomach to my breast. Continuously kissing me. Arousing my senses both in body and mind. For being a girl I sometimes feel I might be a bit too guyish, just waiting for them to get straight down to business and not really minding, as long as we can continue playing afterwards. I wanted his hands under my clothes, or at least for him to rip them off and take me.

I wanted his fingers inside of me, slipping inside of me. I wanted him to feel how wet he was making me, that if anything should be a good grade on how he’s treating me, right?

My shirt got moved further up, and his lips moved to my nipple and he started to suckle and kissing my breast. At the same time his hand was playing with my other nipple, that has a whole other kind of sensitivity. Slight moans kept slipping out of me as the tingly feelings spread in my body.

When I can feel that I’m wet, when I can feel it almost seeping out, it is really a good sign of how aroused I actually am. At least if it, and it often does, in return makes me even hornier. Could I tell him that? No.

I took his hand, to slip it down into my pants. I just wanted him to really wank me of. I wanted to finish off, carrying so much horniness. I wanted my beloved orgasm that my body keeps stopping me from getting!! And I hear him giggle.
- What do you want? he asked me in a playful teasing voice.
I’m not even sure if I answered, or that I could. I think I managed to mention that he was making me horny. He went back to playing with my breasts. Quite a teaser that one. Lets see how tight we’ll sleep tonight, and if we’ll get any sleep at all.

Right now I’m just walking around the apartment feeling how wet he’s made me, and it’s almost gone through both layers of fabric in the way…

Yep, slippery when wet, that’s me.

It had been a long hot day and the three of us were there in bed enjoying each others bodies. I let this part out when I wrote about it last, since I felt that it deserved it’s own post. Being something so special as a beautiful first time fisting experience.

I was on top of Evelyn, well between her legs. Licking her and playing with my fingers inside of her. Feeling her wriggle under my mouth, and around my fingers. Watching someone else enjoying your treatment is really amazing. Watchings someones face while you are is even greater. So I got up, standing on my knees leaning over her.

I noticed that I was able to slide in another finger. She had been quite tight to start off. But she was getting more and more wet, and more able to stretch. Eventually sliding in that third finger. Watching her still. I whispered to Gene:
- “Look at this, look how beautiful she is while she’s enjoying herself.”
When I managed to get in the forth finger, it was really tight. But I could see she was still enjoying it, I was trying to be careful. I looked at my hand, wishing I could have taken a photograph. I never knew that fisting could be something so beautiful. Even though I had gotten a sense of it when I read “Nothing says I love you quite like.. (fisting). Experiencing it myself was something quite different.

I started to notice a different kind of wet feeling. I can’t describe or quite understand how I knew it was different, but it was. I took a look at my hand to notice that it was covered in blood. I had been trying to make sure to ask her the entire way if she was doing all right, or at least look at and see her responses to my treatment. When I noticed she was bleeding I stopped and asked. If she wanted me to continue or stop. She gave me a red signal (no pun intended), and we all stopped.

After which they went back to taking care of me again. But you can read more about that in the other post.

To my disappointment it only one more part was published! “Don’t just beg men to give us a chance”. One more post, about another subject was posted after that and since then the blog has been inactive!
It’s still an intriguing subject, and I do want more! But let’s see what we’ve got thus far in the introduction and part I.

First off, she manage to sum it up quite quickly, which I as well think about this same particular thing. (which likely was the reason for why I longed for the rest of the series!)

However, I don’t have an issue with having more women in tech, and I generally agree that it would improve some products, companies, businesses and achievements. So I don’t think there shouldn’t be more women in tech, I’m just not sure there’s an actual problem with our current progress — given where the industry has come from and the fact that tech as an industry is better than most when it comes to gender neutrality and having a merit-based ecosystem. Additionally, I don’t understand why we’re all moaning about it so much and blaming men or the “institutions” instead of just getting down to business and doing more or performing better.

I think the most important point here is that we don’t want to be seen as just a sex. We want to be seen as a capable person doing a job that we’re good at. It shouldn’t be about if you’re male or female. The emphasis of being a Woman in tech sort of puts us down.
I’ve been at a few meet ups for women in just Tech, and they all love how relaxed it becomes when being around just other women, because suddenly you’re not the female programmer, you’re a programmer. See the difference there?
For the Part one we come across this section, which sort of ties together with what I just wrote.

On the first point, I don’t want someone to cut me some slack or “give me a chance” just because I’m a woman. I don’t want a hand-out, I don’t want to be patronized. I want to be recognized and respected because of what I’m capable of doing and achieving. If someone wants me on their team strictly because I’m a woman, then there’s probably something amiss in that intention. So don’t patronize me, please.

I do not want to be treated differently because I’m a girl, I rather not cut the team than cut the team because I’m a girl. Or female, or woman or whatever you prefer to call me. I want to be there because I’m awesome at the one thing I do, because you know you want me there for my skills, may them be social or technological, but not biological, please.

Other side she writes about, is the supply and demand. The supply is low, while the demand for women in tech is quite high. I think it is because of the fact that some of us will put in a different point of view for how to get the work done. Not admitting that there are difference might be a problem. But a diverse group is a good thing, but look at the actual qualities of people and what they bring to the table.

We need to push people to want to go for the things they are scared to do. It’s not only about tech really. But a lot of people, and especially women have it indoctrinated in them that you’re not allowed to take extra space. And in some businesses you have to. No matter if you’re a woman or not.

There are different parts of this that should be lifted more, and I’m still a bit sad that the rest of the posts in the series weren’t published (Coming up next (hopefully within this week): Part II: How “tech” compares to other industries… but no!). But maybe they will be finished and published now that I’ve written about it and called for it!

It could be that your bus runs of without you, or possibly an old friend you’ve not seen in years offering you a cup of coffee. It could of course also be something very stimulating to either mind or body. Perhaps mind and body at the very same time.

Sometimes the iPod not only makes you unaware of your surroundings, but also your surroundings unaware of you.

One of my favorite examples of this type of situation turned out like this;

It was a hot summer day, I decided to head down to my favorite lake and have a slow lie-down for an hour or two.
I sat down more or less right next to the water, dozing off against a rock. The podcast I gave my time to was incredibly boring and I lost track of time out of pure boredom.

I got pulled back to reality by a noise that distinctly failed to fit into the slow voice in my earplugs.

Two 15-year olds had unintendedly snook up on me without noticing me, preparing for a swim in the lake. At least that’s what I thought they were preparing for until the girl undressed completely, sat down in her partners lap and gave him a seductive squeeze.

It was about then I realized that this was probably a bad time to leave my spot. The poor boy looked somewhat amazed by the beautiful – stark naked – brunette in his lap, and I figured that he’d be more happy if I left them to themselves for a while.

A while, in this case, lasted about half an hour. They sure seemed to have a great deal of fun, the full 30 minutes. And, since I had nowhere to go, I felt like I was part of it. Not that they asked – or even wanted – me to, but I still was.

Things have had time to go south since, as it does quite often for me, even though I’m really glad that I still have the relationship with Gene for over a year. I don’t think that right now is the time nor place to tell you about Master D. I will save it for a really good posting, probably series, later.

It did juggle up quite a lot of feelings in me though. How intensely I would feel that I wanted to submit, and still do. Loosing the person to submit to when you are deep in that mindset is quite scary and somewhat problematic. Problematic in the way that it causes an empty space, not just in my heart because I had managed to get a lot of feelings for him, but also in my soul. The need to submit. I’m proud to say that I haven’t just ran out to try and find someone else to take command over me, since that would just be damaging, probably to both him and me.

While he and I were still seeing each other regularly I read, and reread, a few posts that just hit close to home, and suddenly felt even more accurate and fitting for me.
Some of you have already seen me talk, and relink, about Bad Bad Girls blog post Used. Some parts of it just stuck to me, and I can read it over and over.
Somehow this was how I started to feel. I started to learn.

Opening one eye, I looked up at him- tempted to ask if he was serious- but one thing I learned early, my Sir does not say things just to see what I’ll say. No, when he speaks, he means it. Especially in the tone he was using now. Had he called me baby, or sweetie- I might have been able to play it off ‘cute’ and get him to lie down with me. However addressing me as slut, it doesn’t push me into subspace, but it lets me know his intention. ”Slut” means, this is what I want. Now.

On the other side of this, being used, we got me; The dirty slutty whore that just doesn’t get enough. Again from Bad Bad Girl,Never Enough struck even closer to home. Not that I had been put through this, but I started to long for it. I showed both these text to my Master. He never commented, either because he hadn’t read them, or he was saving it as a surprise. Now I might never know..

Of course I managed to run across the Submissive Guide and the post Morning Rituals. When I read it I was so ready to start working that kind of routine, to become his, even more. I wanted to be his so bad. I wanted to totally submit, which I know I was close to do. I was his, but not in the right way and not completely. Being poly and having unfinished business can do that do you.

I do not know where I will go from here. But I know these 3 texts I’ve just referred to have effected me. And I thank you for that! (been a lot of thanking people lately!)